No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
