You work out of a Hotel?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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