Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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