a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
