What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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