i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize