a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Someone shattered a urinal.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
