i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he puts the penis in happiness.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
