I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
