Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
