I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
