Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
