I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
