not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
