I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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