were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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