Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
