Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Enjoy the penises
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
