you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
