I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It's blow job season.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
