I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
