If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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