TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize