I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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