..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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