just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
