I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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