His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Come on in and take your pants off
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