You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
