i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
