Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
