and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize