we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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