I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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