oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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