last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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