I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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