It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
