I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
