3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
