hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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