I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
