She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
