Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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