I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
