I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
