hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
