Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
