so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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