I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
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