Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
