Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
tell me about the eggs
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