:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
