my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
