Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
