at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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