when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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