You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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