smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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