drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Four minutes until I can fart!
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
