do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
