just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
