R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
