i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
