I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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