I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
