Define "chronic" masturbator.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
