Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
