She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
