she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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