Where did you get a picture of my penis
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
