its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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