Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Randomize
