I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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