kristin has been a bad kristin
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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