Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
