Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I was not drunk enough for that final.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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