I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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