I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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