I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
