they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
