Is it normal to miss your booty call?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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