i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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